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Illusions ~ Redwolf

woman-and-child.jpg

Painting by Salvador Dali 1941

 

It’s interesting to look back at the illusions you’ve broken through. How you got into it in the first place…well you know how…but wonder, WHY did I allow it. WHY did I blind myself with something that seems so obvious NOW. WHY am I continuing this loop, and how do I break this fucking hamster wheel and stop spinning round and round, getting nowhere. All the what’s, where’s, why’s and How’s of it all. Feeling every emotion again and again, feeling your heart break over and over.

When you first realize the loop, you question yourself. You bash yourself, saying how can I be so fucking stupid. It takes a long time to get it out of your mind…if ever. Time and time again the cycle continues, and eventually you become numb to it. You’re not surprised anymore that its happening. And finally, you just “accept” it, that it’s your burden, and you don’t deserve any better, and just struggle through it making it the best you can.

Then one day it just hits you. You look back with different eyes. Your thought process is different. Your reaction is now different. What has happened? You were just on the hamster wheel. You realize that throughout the cycle, you finally build up self-worth. Even through the pain you started loving yourself more, because you saw that you DO deserve the best. Because you DO Deserver your dreams. And you see that throughout it all, you never stopped chasing “The Dream”. You never stopped knowing and wanting that one specific thing for this life. You realize that each experience that you went through was a lesson to get you to the final goal. And when you look at it through different eyes, you don’t feel the same reaction. Your emotions from it are different. You don’t completely break down into a puddled mess. You’ve finally learned to let it all go. To not beat yourself up because of it, but to say, I forgive you, and I love you. Thank you for the lesson. And you move forward with your dream, still holding it in your heart. Knowing now that you’ve followed your heart, even through all the illusions. Now having the true faith that there will be a moment, when it is no longer an illusion, but it will be your existence and truth.  And finally, you are proud of yourself, for never giving up on that dream. And now know that your heart is opening fully to what will truly be.

Never give up on your true dreams

 

‘Redwolf”

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